Solitude
by Labschiz
Summary: [Oneshot.] The story of Artemis' first school experience and a pain that marked a turning point in his youth. Friendship? Is there really such a thing?


**Solitude**

A/N: Just a little one-shot to start off the summer.

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and its characters were created and belong to Eoin Colfer. As far as I know there may or may not be a Saint Ann's Primary School in Ireland but no places or people mentioned here really exist (to my knowledge).

-

_It's so quiet today._

A field of grass was obscured by the thick wall of trees bordering the road. From inside the speeding car Artemis watched, absently trying to catch the details of each tree as they flew by in a blur of colour and shadows. He rubbed his eyes and turned away from the window, lost in thoughts of what this day would bring.

He felt his mother's hand squeeze his reassuringly, as it so often did. "Darling," she was saying. "There will be a lot of other children your age there, many adjusting to a new setting just like you. I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends," Angeline smiled genuinely. Artemis hated that—he could never return such a smile.

Still, he gave her the best grin he could muster, "Yes, mother. I am merely wondering what to expect." He again averted his gaze to the scenery outside the window letting his mind wander with it. Splashes of green and black danced before his eyes and he let himself fall into their simple rhythm. He heard his mother speak again.

"There's no need to worry, dear."

"I know, mother," was his automatic response.

"It's a very prestigious school so even you should find a challenge."

"Yes, mother."

"You don't have to be nervous about meeting new people. Everyone needs friends, Arty."

"I know-"

She interrupted him, "Yes, you know many things, Artemis."

At this Artemis looked up in surprise. His mother seldom addressed him by his real name, always preferring one of her childish pet names. When he saw her face he saw that she was serious. He stayed silent, prompting her to continue.

Angeline sighed, not at all looking like the usually bright, young woman she was, "You know so much, Artemis, yet you understand so little. It was my decision to let you attend a normal school with other children because I know that you would never make that choice on your own, regardless of all your knowledge of the world..." She looked at her son sadly. "Or perhaps because of it."

Artemis turned away again before responding. His answer was plain and honest. "Nonsense, mother, I'm doing this for myself as well. The type of information obtained from books is often inadequate in real-life situations. I need the type of knowledge gained through interaction with one's peers and an understanding of people that must be built from within. Our reasoning is, essentially, the same: I need to meet more people my age, to make 'friends'."

"I wonder if a book on friendship might be of more use," Artemis heard his mother say softly. She was wearing a grim smile this time, one that Artemis seldom saw on his mother. He hated the sight of it more than her true smile. Before he could begin to question her dismal manner the car pulled to a stop.

"We've arrived at the school," rumbled the deep voice of Artemis' guardian from the driver's seat. Artemis looked out the window and spotted a sign at the entrance of a well-funded-for building: "SAINT ANN'S PRIMARY SCHOOL". A thin banner was tied to the bottom as an afterthought, "Welcome, all incoming students!" Artemis felt an unfamiliar lurch in his stomach and resisted the urge to tell Butler to keep on driving.

He turned to his mother again and found that she was smiling her usual reassuring smile that she always seemed to have around Artemis. He vaguely wondered why she thought he needed reassuring.

Artemis looked out the window once more. Butler came to open the door for him and he stepped out to greet his new school.

-

Chatter ricocheted from every wall of St. Ann's as students new and old returned for the start of a new school year. Artemis peered into the open doorway of his soon-to-be classroom while his mother chatted with the first person (to Artemis' knowledge) to match her cheerful demeanor. The room was very brightly coloured with several posters encouraging education and good manners. It was all very childish in his opinion but he supposed he should have expected as much since he was to be with other children his age. Nevertheless, he could not stop the uncertainties from invading his thoughts.

"Nervous?"

Artemis looked up. It was Butler, hovering beside him as usual. Once he began classes here that familiar presence would have to leave him, yet another drawback of this situation.

"No," he lied. "I am only slightly irritated that I must sit through lessons of basic mathematics, grammar, and even spelling if that poster of the alphabet is any indicator. The professors here seem to enjoy posters quite a lot—there are at least three on every wall. One would think that you needn't constant reminder of something as simple as saying 'please' and 'thank you.' Honestly, I-"

"Master Artemis," Butler interrupted, chuckling. "You're rambling."

Artemis frowned, "Are you laughing at me?"

"No, of course not, sir," he denied but the twinkle in his eye gave him away. He cleared his throat to cover up a grin that was threatening to form, "I suggest you go in now. Your class begins in about three minutes."

Artemis opened his mouth to reply but he was interrupted yet again, this time by the woman who was speaking with Angeline the moment before. "Oh yes, I should get going as well. Come along, Artemis, I shall not have you late to my first class of the year." His new teacher smiled and gestured for him to enter the classroom.

He nodded and turned to his mother, "Goodbye, mother. I will see you after school is over this afternoon."

Angeline laughed and pulled him into a tight embrace, "You don't have to be so formal, Arty. I'll miss you every second you're not home!"

He returned the hug, "I'll miss you as well, mother. Goodbye." He stepped into the room and heard his mother's soft voice.

"Have fun, Arty...and good luck."

Somehow Artemis felt that he would need luck in order to survive the day. He had absolutely no idea how to handle a situation like this. In the past he had observed his father's meetings with business partners and his mother's interactions with her many friends at the Manor, but he had never dealt with others his own age for long periods of time before. There were a few other children there, some picking out desks and others talking to their friends at various points of the room. He scanned his surroundings one more time and took in the shelves of textbooks, the blackboard, the desks (he counted 23), the cartoon pictures with instructions on how to count...

And suddenly Artemis felt very foolish. Why was he so concerned over a bunch of children? By intellectual and financial terms he was certainly their superior, and those were the two most important qualities in a man. His confidence back in place, the Fowl boy picked out a desk toward the center of the room and sat. He would have preferred a more comfortable seat near the front but this way he would have plenty of access to the other children for observation.

It was not long before one of those children chose to sit right in front of him. Artemis absently noted that this boy was much taller than he was and had slicked back brown hair. _Most likely combed by his mother_, he guessed. The boy turned around and grinned.

"Hey! You're new, too, aren't you?"

_How blunt,_ he thought._ Are introductions beyond our generation now_? Out loud he said, "Yes, my name is Artemis Fowl the Second. I am pleased to make your acquaintance..." He paused to let the boy provide his name.

The boy just stared at him then blinked and said, "Oh! My name's Joseph. You're so polite, Artemis, it's weird." He laughed.

"Yes, I suppose..." _Why does everyone seem to be laughing at me today?_

Joseph laughed again and went on, "You're not supposed to agree! Gosh, you're polite! My brother's always calling me weird, so that means we can be weird together."

Artemis raised an eyebrow at this logic and decided to take it as a compliment. He held out a hand, "It's very nice to meet you, Joseph."

Joseph shook it vigorously in an unprofessional manner that Artemis' father would never have approved of. "Nice to meet you, too." Artemis wondered when Joseph would stop shaking his hand and when he did the child prodigy could not help but grin ever so slightly at such uncontained childishness. The other boy saw his smile and declared, "Then you're my very first friend here."

"Yes, I think the same would apply to you." Artemis ran the word over in his mind, _"Friend"...A trusted companion. A companion perhaps, but trusted?_ He looked at the innocently laughing Joseph and thought, _Why not?_

As the minutes went by more students filed in and class started a little late. From the front of the room the teacher, whom they were to call Ms. MacNally, tried to get the children settled. Once everyone was seated, Ms. MacNally clapped her hands to get the class's attention. "Welcome, everyone, to a fresh year at Saint Ann's School! I know that this is the first time here for some of you but don't worry, everyone's a little bit nervous on their first day, even some of the older kids," she added in a playfully furtive whisper.

There was scattered laughter at that and Ms. MacNally let them quiet down before continuing, "I've met some of you already and some of you I haven't met yet, but you can all feel free to come to me for anything because I'm here to make sure you get smarter—and that you have fun, of course! I want you all to be comfortable, so relax, you lot! Some of you look fit to faint." She grinned at a girl in a desk to her right who was trying to hide behind her bag. When she 'humph'ed and put her hands on her hips, the girl giggled and smiled shyly.

"And there are others who look like they're about to fall asleep. Isn't that right, _Mr. Donaldson_?" She raised her voice as she addressed a boy who was all but sprawled on his desk. From where Artemis was sitting the boy did, indeed, look as though he was losing consciousness.

His head snapped up and he looked around blearily. "Huh? Wha...?" The class erupted in laughter.

"Just so you know," Ms. MacNally said to the class, "falling asleep in class is a big 'no-no'. As boring as I may be you really will enjoy my class. You'll learn a lot of new things and meet lots of new people. It seems as though some of you have already made friends." Joseph twisted in his seat to grin at Artemis, who returned it with a half smile. "Now, before I tell you all my rules I thought it would be a good idea to get to know each other. So, let's go around the room. Tell the class your name and something interesting about you. Katie, start us off, if you please."

A girl in the front row stood up and said in a confident tone, "My name is Katherine June Phenlan and I know ballet."

And so it went as each student stood and introduced themselves. Artemis memorized every word, intending to have a mental database on all his classmates by the end of the day. After a soft-spoken boy announced that he was Ronan Morgan, it was finally Artemis' turn.

He stood and cleared his throat for attention. "My name is Artemis Fowl the Second. There are many things about myself that you may find interesting, but I will tell you now that I've already learned the material on this year's curriculum, and then some. I was proclaimed a genius at the age of five and have excelled in many fields, including music and the arts. In simpler terms, I'm very smart." He looked at everyone's blank expressions and added as an afterthought, "It's nice to meet you all." He sat down and noted with slight amusement that the next student had not continued.

Joseph turned around and whispered, "It think you scared them." Artemis smirked in reply.

"It was a good first impression, don't you think?"

He laughed. "You really are weird, Artemis."

Ms. MacNally cleared her throat and said, "Thank you, Artemis. Keep it moving now, Miss Greenan." When the introductions were over Ms. MacNally explained that you must raise your hand before speaking, not to talk while others were talking, ask before going to the bathroom, and other rules that Artemis thought were meant for those lacking basic common sense. He was already bored out of his mind by the time Ms. MacNally mentioned that today would be a "half-day" and classes would end two hours earlier than would a normal school day.

_Wonderful_, he thought to himself. _Barely twenty minutes and I am ready to go home. What kind of condition will I be in after this "education" drags on for an entire school year?_

"Now," said their teacher, "I would like all of you to bring in pencils and a notebook tomorrow because we'll be learning subjects like math, grammar, English, Irish, spelling, science, and history. Right now I'm going to quiz you on how much you know. Here's a fairly easy question: who is Mary McAleese?" She looked around expectantly but no one answered. "Patty, what do you think?"

Artemis looked at the girl sitting to the right of him and recalled what he had gathered during introductions, _Patricia Greenan: aspires to be a teacher when she grows up; likes to be called "Patty"; a very loud girl._ Patty looked uncertainly at Ms. MacNally and answered, "I think she's the President. I saw my mum watching her on T.V. before."

"Very good. Does anyone know what job President McAleese does? Artemis, how about you?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow at her, slightly disappointed that he would not be able to observe his peers further. With a shrug he recited what he knew on the subject, hoping they would move on quickly (politicians were so dull).

"Mary Patricia McAleese (1)," he began. "President McAleese is currently serving her first term, which will consist of seven years from the time she was first elected in 1997—this makes it her fifth year. Nominated by _Fianna__ Fáil_ (2), she is our eighth President and the first woman to succeed another woman as head of state. The President acts as the head of state and is mostly a figurehead with certain constitutional powers, including the appointing of the _Taoiseach_, or prime minister, after a nomination from parliament. President McAleese and her predecessors may serve a maximum of two terms and traditionally reside in _Áras__ an Uachtaráin_ in Dublin (3)."

Silence once again reigned in the room when Artemis was finished. They were now all staring at him without reserve. He noticed several students were looking at him as if he had grown an extra head and were waiting for the third to pop out any minute. After a few moments of utter silence scattered whispers broke out among the children and Artemis felt, for the first time since stepping into the classroom, a little self-conscious.

Ms. MacNally seemed to regain her composure and said in a loud voice, "Quiet now, everyone! Very well done, Artemis! Looks like we have a smart guy on our hands here. Okay, now..."

The class resumed again but Artemis was distinctly aware of the glances his classmates would shoot him every once and a while. When he turned to glare back they quickly averted their gazes. Confused, he watched the other children around him. The intention was to impress them with his knowledge and thereby gaining their trust. Genius was to be admired, surely. So then, why did his insides churn at the stares of these children?

He decided to disregard them for now, slightly puzzled by their reaction. He pointedly ignored the feel of their eyes on him and looked straight ahead. Joseph still had his back to him. In fact, he was the only one who was not gawking at him as if he was some alien creature on display.

And so it went on, for how long Artemis did not know. Ms. MacNally conducted the class and her students dutifully participated. Unfortunately, they had already acquired the skill of not paying attention by the first hour and their main source of distraction happened to be Artemis, the strange boy who talked like a grown-up and didn't smile like a normal kid should. Artemis still did not understand their animosity towards him and by now was finding it extremely difficult to feign indifference. To his annoyance, a painful thickness seemed to have collected in the middle of his chest. He found that he was looking at the back of Joseph's head again. Although he was glad that at least one of his peers had the decency not to stare, he still wished that the boy would at least turn around. He needed desperately to see a friendly face.

_Turn around...look at me! _he willed in his mind, yet it was in vain. The pain in his chest became a sharp throb. He clenched a fist in frustration. _Why won't you turn around?_

Ms. MacNally's cheerful tone broke through Artemis' thoughts, "Since you've all been working so hard I thought I'd let you off fifteen minutes early. We'll be out in the playground today and I'll be watching. You can play with your friends until your parents come to pick you up, but be careful! If I see anyone running too fast or playing too rough it's straight back inside for everyone. Okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," the class chorused.

"Good, now everyone up! Form a neat, single file line right here and follow me."

They reached a deserted little playground flanking the school's main building. Within seconds the area was full of happily playing children. Artemis silently watched his classmates who were mostly busying themselves with the swings or trying to be first on the slide. He searched their faces and finally came upon Joseph. He was near the swing set speaking with a group of boys who were laughing at something another boy had said. Curious, Artemis casually moved to a vacant swing barely within earshot of them and sat. Trying to look as though his attention was directed elsewhere Artemis listened in on their conversation.

"And did you see his face? His skin's so white—it's like a monster's!"

"Haha, yeah like a vampire." More laughter.

"D'you hear how he talks?" The boy's voice was light with glee, "All those big words, I think Ms. MacNally even got confused."

"That guy, his name's Fowl. Me dad told me about him when we saw him this mornin'. He said he was really rich and his parents are _thieves_."

"No way!"

"Uh huh, it's true! Dad says to be careful around him 'cause he's real dangerous."

The thickness in his chest was unbearable.

One boy began laughing, "Yeah, he looks so evil! The way he was lookin' at you I thought he was about to eat you, Joseph."

Artemis' fingers clenched the chain of the swing painfully. He heard Joseph's laughter.

"Yeah, I s'pose. I knew he was really weird from the beginning. Just listen to how he talks!"

There was more laughter at this. "I don't think anyone even likes him."

"No," Artemis heard Joseph say. "I think everyone's gonna _hate_ him!"

Artemis' blood ran cold. He was becoming dizzy. With a gasp he realised that he had been holding his breath. The chains rattled slightly in his fists but they still had not noticed him there. Slowly, as if in a trance, he turned his gaze toward the group of boys. They were laughing and continued to mock their silent observer.

Joseph still did not look at him.

-

After a few minutes all the children had crowded around the slides where some game involving singing and spinning was taking place. Artemis remained on the swings, absently staring at the trees on the other side of the playground.

_A trusted companion...a loyal ally..._ He rocked back and forth slightly on the swing. _I finally understand it now...the concept of friendship..._

He watched as a pair of birds burst out of the tree's leafy branches. He watched their flight briefly and when they were gone he turned his eyes back to the tree. He studied every single detail intently. The swaying patterns were no longer blurs of colour. He could see them so clearly.

_Friendship...is an invention of the human mind. Its mere existence is to quell the overwhelming fear of loneliness that plagues every man. It is only human nature to create a shelter from such fears._

The laughter and singing of the children was distant now. Wind roared in Artemis' ears and he watched as it ruffled the leaves.

_But this illusion has a flaw. It relies completely on trust between people. Once one realises that this illusion is merely a mask of emotion and lies hiding the inevitable solitude that we are all born into, one will also realise the pain of loneliness._

He stopped swinging. _Pain... Fear... Why should we be born to bear such weakening traits? Where there is power there is no room for pain or fear or silly fantasies. Allies are valuable and a man must trust a few chosen others because a man cannot succeed alone. However, the trusted must remain few and alliances cannot be tainted with foolish sentimental attachments. _

The howling wind filled his ears. It drowned out the sounds of the birds, the children, and the dull throb in his chest.

_Friendship is childish nonsense. I need power and nothing else._

The breeze enveloped him completely. The wind stung his eyes but he could not tear them away from the dancing trees.

_It's so quiet today._

_-_

_-Fin._

* * *

(1) Mary Patricia McAleese is the current President of the Republic of Ireland and is now in her second term

(2) _Fianna__ Fáil _is the Irish Republican party

(3) _Áras__ an Uachtaráin _is the official residence of the President of Ireland, translating into "Residence of the President" (like the White House to American Presidents)

This information was based off of online sources so please correct me if I'm wrong.

A/N: So this wasn't exactly one-shot-esque but I needed to write it. Hate it, love it, review it. Tell me if you caught the symbolism and what I need to improve on, please-ness. By the way, if the kids sounded either too eloquent or too childish then that may because they are at the age where their language skills are still in the developmental stage (with Artemis as the exception).

One last note: in response to the inevitable confusion as to the children's ages, I will say that this occurs in 2002 so Artemis is about seven years old (grade 2).

Edited: July 23, 2005


End file.
